The textbook describes collaborative conflict resolution as the participation of all members stating their point of view as clearly and concisely as possible while listening to all others as well. Each party remains open to being convinced to change their opinion. The solution must satisfy all participants. Collaboration is less likely to result in destructive conflict when it is done fairly and when the entire team feels empowered through the process.
However competitive conflict resolution has a win-lose orientation and it is marked by self interest rather than mutual interest. The key to constructive resolution of conflict is maintaining mutual respect among the group members themselves regardless of the immediate issues in conflict.
One example I have of a collaborative conflict resolution I was involved in was just a few weeks ago with the other ladies I work lunch with at the private school we all work at. This is the season for spring music programs at the school and our lunchroom and auditorium is one and the same, and for obvious reasons the auditorium needs to be quite and the lunch chairs need to be used in order to provide seating for the parents during the performances. In order for the spring programs to run correctly the kindergartners would need to eat elsewhere on campus to facilitate the programs. The principals had requested that the children eat outside on the playground, but having had experience with first graders last year having to eat outside for the same reason I knew that it was going to be an epic fail, so I sat back and listened to the other six girls give their opinions which ranged from support of eating outside to complete disapproval of the idea, and at the end I spoke up about my experiences not just in concept but in realistic terms that I had first person accounting for, and in the end we all collaborated to let the children eat half of their lunch in their classroom at their individual desks, and then they could take the remaining half outside and eat, or go and play (our school only requires the children to eat 1/2 of their lunch) and this group decision worked out fabulously and everyone felt that they were getting their voice heard, and that they have a part in the decisions that surround their performance.
Collaborative and competitive conflict resolution is a great topic for everyone in the comm field to learn, in my opinion. It is not just group comm that it applies to but also interpersonal as well. When I have a conflict with my wife I often have to take a step back and think about how I am going to resolve it - are we going to work together for a resolution, or is one of us going to stand our ground and be competitive? It's obvious, but competitive does not help our relationship nor does it really help resolve the problem, it just leads to new ones. Collaborative is better for our relationship as it builds a tighter bond, and it creates a tigher team and we feel like we can tackle on more issues. In a small group, IE my family, we have the same tendencies. When I am trying to resolve conflicts with my 5 year old we try to work out the problem by collaborating instead of me just telling her the solution. She doesn't learn anything through competitive, but with collaborative effort, she is able to take on problem solving skills herself.
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